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Parenting teens isn’t easy. One minute, they’re debating curfew like seasoned lawyers, and the next, they’re leaving their science project at home because it’s “too stressful” to pack everything. It’s a rollercoaster, right? But here’s a reassuring fact for parents navigating these ups and downs: your teenager’s brain is still very much a work in progress. Teen executive functioning skills (EF) which include organization, emotional regulation, time management, and planning—are still developing and will continue to mature into their late twenties.
These skills are crucial for school success, future jobs, and navigating life’s demands. And while it might feel like they should “know better” by now, the reality is that teens still need support, guidance, and practice to strengthen their EF skills. The keys to this are communication and patience. A whole lot of it. Consistently. It’s not easy, but it will work. We all lose our patience and are not perfect, but we need to try to have the consistency outweigh those human moments. I will tell you, I have mastered the art of deep breathing.
This post will unpack why executive functioning in teens matters, what the science says about brain development, and how you can help your teen build the skills they need to thrive now and in the future.
What Are Executive Functioning Skills?
Executive functioning refers to a set of mental skills that help us stay organized, make decisions, control impulses, and work toward goals. Think of these skills as your brain’s management team, helping you plan, prioritize, stay on task, and manage emotions in the face of challenges.
For teens, EF skills are the foundation for excelling in school, becoming independent, and preparing for future responsibilities like college, work, or managing their own household. Key EF skills include:
- Planning and Prioritization (like creating a study schedule)
- Time Management (balancing school and extracurriculars)
- Task Initiation and Persistence (starting and completing assignments)
- Working Memory (holding multiple steps in mind to solve a problem)
- Impulse Control (resisting distractions)
- Emotional Regulation (managing stress or frustration effectively)
- Metacognition (understanding how we think, our behavior…why we do what we do)
The Teenage Brain and EF Development
Here’s where the science gets fascinating. The prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for executive functioning, goes through major changes during adolescence. It’s essentially rewiring itself, pruning away unneeded connections and strengthening the pathways teens use most often.
However, this rewiring process continues into the mid-to-late twenties. Until then, teens often rely on the brain’s emotional center, the limbic system, when making decisions. This explains why they sometimes act impulsively (texting instead of studying) or struggle with managing emotions (getting overwhelmed by a single bad grade).
What This Means: Teens aren’t being “lazy” or “unmotivated” when they struggle with EF tasks; their brains are still learning how to handle these processes efficiently.
Why EF Skills Still Matter for Teens
While the foundational work for EF skills begins in early childhood, adolescence is a critical time to solidify and strengthen these abilities. Why? Because they bridge the gap between the structured environment of school and the independence of adult life.
1. Academic Success
High school workloads can be overwhelming, especially with long-term projects, multiple deadlines, and extracurricular responsibilities. Teens need EF skills like planning, prioritization, and time management to keep up. If you really think about it, teens manage a lot on a given day and they require adaptability, flexibility and a good deal of memory to do so!
Example: A student with stronger EF skills knows how to break a research paper into smaller steps (choosing a topic, finding sources, drafting) and schedule time to avoid a last-minute scramble. Others need more guidance, practice and support. We need to meet our teens where they are at.
2. Preparing for Future Careers
Jobs require employees to manage their time, problem-solve, and stay focused on goals. Teens who struggle with these skills now may find the transition to work-life especially difficult.
Example: A teen who learns to stick to a homework planner today is better equipped to manage a workload and meet deadlines in a future job.
3. Emotional Resilience in Relationships and Life
Managing emotions is an essential EF skill that affects friendships, family relationships, and handling challenges. Teens who can regulate frustration or disappointment are more likely to persevere through setbacks and build healthy connections.
Example: When getting a low grade on an assignment, a teen with strong EF skills might process their emotions, seek support, and refocus on how to improve rather than giving up entirely.
How Parents Can Help Teens Build EF Skills
The great news is that EF skills are teachable, and your teen doesn’t need to master everything overnight. With your guidance, they can practice and improve these essential skills. Here’s how parents can help:
1. Break Tasks Into Manageable Steps
Teens often feel overwhelmed when facing big assignments or responsibilities. Help them break tasks into smaller, actionable steps.
Example: If your teen has an essay due, guide them to create a checklist:
- Choose a topic
- Research three articles and take notes
- Write an outline
- Draft the introduction
Why It Works: Smaller steps feel achievable and reduce procrastination, helping them see progress along the way.
2. Encourage Use of Tools and Systems
Teens can benefit from organizational tools like planners, apps, or calendars to track their deadlines and commitments. Consider something like a detailed student planner to help your teen track their deadlines and balance their busy schedule. Having a physical or digital system in place can ease their stress and boost their ability to stay on top of tasks.
Practical Ideas:
- Introduce apps like Google Calendar or Notion for planning projects.
- Suggest color-coded binders, a physical planner or digital folders for keeping school materials organized.
- Help them set reminders on their phone for recurring tasks (like “Apply for volunteer program before 6 PM!”).
Why It Works: External tools support developing EF skills by taking pressure off their working memory.
3. Build Emotional Regulation Skills
Help teens learn how to pause and reflect before reacting impulsively, especially during stressful situations.
Examples for Parents:
- Model deep breathing when you’re frustrated by saying, “I’m taking a moment to calm down before deciding what to do.”
- Teach mindfulness practices, like journaling, talking it out to process with a trusted friend or adult or sibling, or using apps like Headspace, to help them process emotions. Journaling is a great way for teens to process their emotions and reflect on their daily challenges. A mindfulness journal, like a mindfulness journal for teens, can provide your teen with guided prompts to explore their feelings and develop emotional regulation skills. This small daily habit can create a big impact on their mental well-being.
Why It Works: These strategies provide teens with tools to handle challenges calmly and productively, especially in high-pressure situations like exams or team projects.
4. Allow Natural Consequences (with Support)
While you may want to jump in and rescue your teen when they forget homework or miss a deadline, letting them experience the natural consequences helps them develop accountability.
Example: If your teen procrastinates on studying and doesn’t perform well on a test, use it as a teachable moment. Ask, “What would help you plan better next time?” instead of scolding.
Why It Works: Experiencing consequences reinforces the importance of time management and planning without damaging parent-teen trust.
5. Celebrate Effort, Not Perfection
It’s easy to focus on grades or outcomes, but praising the process your teen uses to overcome challenges has a bigger impact on their motivation and EF development. If you see your teen studying, praise this regardless of the test outcome.
Example for Parents: “I noticed how you split your project into segments and stuck to your timeline. Even though it was tough, you got it done! How did that feel?”
Why It Works: Celebrating effort encourages teens to keep practicing EF skills and focus on growth, not fear of failure.
Executive functioning doesn’t stop developing when your teen enters high school; in fact, these years are pivotal for strengthening these skills. The habits they build now will shape their ability to succeed in school, relationships, and jobs, and handle the challenges of adulthood with confidence.
By practicing patience, modeling EF strategies, and helping your teen reflect on their progress, you’re giving them the tools to thrive—not just today but for years to come.
Remember, growth takes time, and even small improvements are worth celebrating. With your steady guidance, your teen can become the capable, self-reliant adult they’re meant to be. Take the time and take advantage of each teachable moment!
