This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through these links, at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products or services that I genuinely believe will add value to your parenting and family life.
Ah, screen time. The modern-day pacifier for kids. It’s the saving grace for parents staring down meltdown territory at a restaurant, on a plane, or in the waiting room of the pediatrician’s office. And yet, here I am, the “mean mom” from your nightmares, ready to tell you why it’s time to holster the apps and lean into the chaos.
Before you roll your eyes, hear me out. I’ve been there. I’ve stared down the jelly covered face of a restless toddler in a fancy restaurant while my own mother (affectionately called Grammy) whispered, “Just give her my phone, it’s fine.” Was it tempting? Of course. Was it easier in the moment? You bet. Did Grammy give it to her anyway? Of course. But what about the long game? That’s where saying no to screens becomes so worth it.
Why Going Screen-Free Is Actually Good for Kids (And You)
First off, we need to stop treating “boredom” like a disaster. Boredom is beautiful. It’s the starting point of creativity and problem-solving. If your kid is stuck at a restaurant table waiting for their food, that’s prime time for silly guessing games, I Spy, storytelling, or just, you know… learning to sit quietly. Or even talking with adults!
Research shows that excessive screen time can hinder social development and stifle creativity. Kids glued to screens aren’t engaging with the world around them. They’re not noticing how the waiter carefully balances six plates (future life skill!), or learning to read social cues across the room. Or other wonderful, three dimensional things in living color. Instead, their eyes are locked on Bluey while the world spins on without them.
And you know what else screens can mess with? Patience. Every time we whip out a phone to soothe or distract, we’re depriving kids of an important learning moment. Waiting (ugh, the worst!) is a skill. Whether it’s waiting for food, waiting in line, or waiting while you discuss why giving the dog a haircut is not a good idea, patience is critical. It’s also increasingly rare in our instant-gratification culture, which is all the more reason kids need to practice it. Screens and instant gratification are affecting our children’s attention spans tremendously which will eventually hinder learning and productivity.
Grammy’s iPad Intervention
Now, back to Grammy. My mom was a strong willed, stubborn woman full of endless love, snacks, and who loved her phone. At one point, her parenting philosophy seemed to boil down to, “If they’re unhappy, there’s a show for that!” Every time we went out, she’d dramatically suggest her magical iPad as if it were an ancient relic destined to save mankind.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got this,” she’d say, clutching the thing like it was the Holy Grail. Meanwhile, I, the bad cop in this familial sitcom, would swoop in to say, “Nope, they can figure this out without a screen.” Cue Grammy’s raised eyebrows and a child’s pout.
But you know what? The kids were fine. They learned to play simple games at the table. They asked questions when they were curious. They even discovered that adult conversation, when you’re included, isn’t as boring as it looks. My mom came around eventually, realizing the iPad could rest in her tote bag until true emergencies arose (think emergency room waits or flights with zero legroom). I am human too. We used TV and the phone when we needed to or when we hit desperation point, but it became the exception, not the rule, especially in public.
Was it easy? Nope. Were there tears and grumbles? Absolutely. But my kids could sit through a three-hour wedding reception without groaning or disappearing under the table. I consider that a parenting win.
Strategies to Keep It Together Without Screens
Here’s the thing about going screen-free in public: it takes practice. Kids have to learn these skills like anything else. And yes, you might have to endure some rocky moments at first. To help you survive, here are a few tried-and-true strategies for keeping things lively without resorting to technology:
- Prepare for Battle (I Mean, Outings). Pack a “bag of wonders.” Think small toys, crayons, puzzles, books. Pro tip: Rotate items to keep them exciting. Coloring is an old standby and in public variety helps. Keep your child entertained screen-free with this mess-free Water Wow coloring book!
- Conversation Starters. I used to narrate everything. “Look at the colors on this menu! Why do you think the salt shaker is square and the pepper is round? Who do you think will finish their dinner first, me or you?” Teachable moments are everywhere, if you open your mouth and look for them.
- Interactive Games. “I Spy,” 20 Questions, “Who Am I?” Kids love these because they engage their brains and keep everyone involved. Bonus points if you make a toddler giggle loudly in public. This game is portable and it helps kids engage with anyone at the restaurant table or out in public.
- Model Good Behavior. Screen-free starts with you. If you want your kids to connect to the real world, they need to see you doing it too. Trust me, your notifications can wait. And even now it’s a rule to have phones away in the cars (teens and adults) and no phones during any family activity.
- Set Realistic Limits. Emergency screens are a real thing, and that’s okay! Just don’t make them the default.
Building Lifelong Comfort Anywhere
When we committed to keeping portable screens out of our kids’ faces, something amazing happened. They learned how to be comfortable everywhere. Fancy restaurants? No problem. Cities and subways? Easy. Family reunions? Hand them a stack of paper napkins and see them design an entire origami zoo. Or they’d be out on the lawn playing, in the pool or on the dancefloor. Broadway shows? While other kids grumble their way through Cinderella, mine were mesmerized by every note.
And here’s the best part—I didn’t have to bribe, beg, or hypnotize them. By keeping screens at bay, we gave them a chance to develop patience, creativity, and curiosity. We also built memories we wouldn’t have had if everyone had been glued to their devices.
Your Kids Will Thank You (Maybe Not Yet, But Someday)
Here’s the bottom line. Life unfolds in the in-between moments. The waiting, the talking, the noticing. Screens can fill those spaces, but at what cost? I promise you, there’s real magic in the shared silliness of watching an ice cube melt or debating whether the moon is made of cheese.
Eventually, your kids might not remember the iPad they didn’t get to use at brunch. But they will remember the laugh you shared over drawing superheroes on napkins, or the waiter who taught them how to properly use chopsticks.
Grammy may not have agreed with me at first, but I’m sure she’d realize now—we did something right by keeping the tech to a minimum. My kids learned how to connect, how to wait, and how to truly engage with the world around them. And no app, no matter how fancy or educational, can truly offer that.
Put down the iPad. Pick up the crayons. And join the beautiful, messy adventure of teaching your kids how to live in the moment. If I can do it, anyone can. Even Grammy.
