If you’re a mom, you probably know the art of multitasking like it’s a second language, but finding alone time? That feels more elusive than a clean house on a Friday afternoon. With little ones (and big ones) constantly tugging at your attention, those rare moments of peace can feel like discovering buried treasure. Here’s the thing, though: we all need solitude to recharge and feel human again—even if it’s just five minutes in the car before you’re on to the next task.
Here are some ways I’ve creatively made use of (or at least attempted to make use of) the art of alone time in the midst of the beautiful chaos of motherhood, plus a few tips so you can do the same.
My Car is My Sanctuary
I’ll admit it—I take finding alone time seriously, even if I have to get a little creative with it. My car, for example, has turned into my favorite “me space” on wheels. Here’s how it goes.
Every week, I drive my child to play rehearsal. Multiple times a week. It’s a 23-minute drive that, for me, doubles as a chance to recharge. Once my teen hops out of the car, I park in the lot and take a glorious pause. It’s my sacred window. Sometimes, I’ll just sit there in silence and sip water like it’s a chilled wine glass at a fancy spa. Other times, I listen to podcasts, catch up on my favorite book, or just scroll mindlessly on my phone. Every now and then, I even bring a coffee and pretend I’m at a roadside café instead of a parking lot outside the community theater. Sometimes it isn’t worth the drive back and I do not feel like wandering around stores. The time may be short, but no one knows where I am or needs me. That, my friends, is pure bliss.
The Power of Showing Up Early
This one is another tactic that has turned into an accidental “me time” opportunity. Last week, I pulled into the rehearsal parking lot 15 minutes early for pick-up. Instead of bustling on with something productive, email, calls, planning—which, trust me, is my default mode—I decided to just sit still. My hands hovered over my phone, and then I thought, You know what? I’m going to just breathe a minute.
I cracked the windows, turned off the radio, and luxuriated in those small moments when no one was asking me for schedules, money, WiFi passwords, or other needs. Honestly, it was maybe the highlight of my whole day. The key to this trick is to allow yourself to enjoy the moment instead of mentally scrolling through your to-do list.
Quick and Easy Tips for Everyday Solitude
Not all moms are as lucky with play parking lot slots, and alone time doesn’t have to be complicated. For those impossible days, here are a few ways to make it work anywhere:
- Commit to a “Nightly Reset”: After bedtime, take 15-30 minutes just for yourself. Watch a guilty-pleasure show, pull out that dusty journal, or scroll Instagram without worrying about anyone needing to floss.
- Play Music Just For You: When everyone’s finally asleep, curate a playlist of tunes that make you feel alive and dance around the kitchen.
- Schedule It: Literally block out time for quiet moments on your calendar like they’re doctor’s appointments. Pro tip? Don’t skip them!
Mom Guilt Is Real (But Manageable)
Of course, whenever I carve out alone time, that little gremlin known as Mom Guilt tries to sneak in. “Shouldn’t you be folding laundry or doing the dishes or…?” Oh, the list goes on. But you know what? Moms don’t need to justify their alone time. You deserve it for simply being you. Still, guilt sometimes wins, and I’ve got some funny moments to prove it.
Like the time(s) I forgot to stash cash for the tooth fairy. Yep, I’d raid my kids’ piggy banks at midnight to solve the problem and quietly made good on the “loan” the next day (or next month). Or that time during the lockdown when my child presented me with a PowerPoint titled “Why We Need a Dog” after watching the Puppy Bowl. Spoiler alert? We got the dog. And every time I get up at 6 a.m. (or my husband does) to take him out for a walk, I think, This is what happens when your kid is better at negotiation than you.
Alone Time is Not a Luxury
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s that alone time isn’t selfish or lazy. It’s essential. Whether you steal moments in the car, grab a hot coffee before anyone wakes up, or just stand in the laundry room letting the dryer hum drown out the chaos, every mom deserves time to breathe and be herself.
Remember, you’re not just a mom; you’re a person with your own needs, dreams, and quirks. Take that time, however small it may be, and cherish it. Sometimes, your “me time” might be punctuated by a toddler barging in or a teen announcing they forgot something for school the next day—but even then, you’re doing amazing.
Now go, grab your coffee, and claim those precious minutes wherever you can find them. You’ve earned it!
So relatable! Finding that alone time is so needed, but often forgotten as you look after everyone first before worrying about yourself.
Even a half an hour can make a big difference. When my children were younger I valued 5 min 🙂