(Without Getting a PhD in Teen Whispering)
Parenting a teen comes with a lot of mysteries. Like:
- Why is every hoodie they own suddenly a security blanket?
- When did “fine” become their only adjective?
- Why do they remember every lyric from a 10-hour Spotify playlist but forget to submit their math homework?
Here’s the thing: It’s not always about laziness or defiance. Sometimes, it’s about how they learn—and whether they’re being taught in a way that makes sense to them. Once you understand your teen’s learning style, everything from homework battles to late-night study sessions gets easier (well, less hard—this is still parenting a teen we’re talking about).
So let’s dive in—without charts, jargon, or needing to take notes.
Step 1: Figure Out How They Naturally Learn
Teens don’t usually come to you and say, “Mother, I believe I’m a kinesthetic learner.” (If they do, please frame that moment.)
But you can figure it out with some good ol’ parental detective work:
1. Visual Learners:
- Love charts, diagrams, color-coded notes
- Prefer to “see it” to understand it
- Have more highlighters than they do socks
Try:
- Mind maps, flashcards, colorful sticky notes all over their room (let it happen)
- YouTube videos explaining concepts
- Visual schedules or planners
2. Auditory Learners:
- Talk through ideas out loud (even to themselves or the dog)
- Remember what they heard more than what they saw
- Are oddly good at quoting movies or song lyrics
Try:
- Letting them explain concepts to you like they’re the teacher
- Study playlists or audiobooks
- Recording their notes and listening back while lying dramatically on the floor
3. Kinesthetic Learners:
- Need to do it to get it
- Fidget constantly (chairs? optional)
- Are often athletic or hands-on in hobbies
Try:
- Using movement-based study (walk and talk, pacing while reviewing flashcards)
- Breaking study sessions into short chunks with movement breaks
- Turning studying into games, even if it feels like you’re running a quiz-themed obstacle course
4. Reading/Writing Learners:
- Thrive with classic note-taking and textbooks
- Love lists (and maybe journals)
- Probably wrote dramatic poetry at some point
Try:
- Letting them rewrite notes in their own words
- Quiet reading time followed by journaling what they understood
- Making “study guides” as a method of review
Your child is probably not just one. Most of us are learning-style hybrids. Like, maybe your child understands history best when they watch a documentary (visual), then debate it in class (auditory), and then build a Minecraft version of ancient Rome (kinesthetic and elite). This is called multimodal learning, and it’s the academic equivalent of playing on easy mode—except it actually works harder for you. When you combine styles, your brain gets multiple pathways to store and retrieve info. It’s like backing up your data in the cloud, on a hard drive, and scribbled on a sticky note—just in case.
Put it into practice:
Studying biology?
- Sketch out the parts of a cell (visual)
- Record yourself explaining it and listen back (auditory)
- Build a model out of LEGOs or snacks (kinesthetic and delicious)
Learning vocab for Spanish?
- Make flashcards with pictures (visual)
- Say the words out loud with a ridiculous accent (auditory + fun)
- Play charades with a friend using the words (kinesthetic + mildly chaotic)
Basically, if you can read it, say it, hear it, and do something with it? You’re way more likely to remember it come test time—or at least remember something, which is still a win. Once your child figures out what they like they realize they don’t need to stick to one style. Mix it up. Get weird with it. Our brains love variety. And if anyone catches you acting out the water cycle in the kitchen, just tell them you’re studying. Like a genius.
Step 2: Observe Their Homework Habits (Yes, it may be madness…)
Watch how they naturally approach schoolwork:
- Do they doodle on everything?
- Talk it out before writing a paper?
- Beg to study in a weird yoga pose on the floor?
All of that is data (even the floor yoga). They’re showing you what their brain likes, even if it looks like nonsense to you.
Step 3: Make the Home Environment Match Their Style (Within Reason)
No, we’re not turning your living room into a science lab (unless you’re into that). But a few tweaks can help:
- Give visual learners access to whiteboards, markers, and space to draw out ideas
- Let auditory learners talk through assignments—yes, even if it sounds like a TED Talk on mitochondria. Read notes aloud anecdote
- Make space for movement if your kinesthetic kid needs to bounce on a yoga ball while reviewing. Even chewing gum counts as movement
- Provide quiet corners, structured schedules, and lots of paper for your reading/writing champs
- And yes, sometimes headphones and a closed bedroom door are the tools they need.
Step 4: Let Them Take Ownership (Even If It’s Weird at First)
Say this: “Let’s figure out how you study best—so you don’t have to spend 4 hours staring at a Google Doc and hating your life.” Let them experiment. Try different study methods. Embrace their quirks. The more ownership they have, the more likely they are to actually use it. And when they come to you with, “So I think flashcards on the treadmill work for me,” just smile and nod. You’re winning. Every teen is different. Some study best while listening to lo-fi beats. Others need silence, color-coded tabs, and emotional support snacks. (Honestly, same.) Helping them understand how they learn is one of the greatest academic gifts you can give them—and no, it doesn’t require a $300 tutoring app or a spreadsheet of their GPA progress since kindergarten.
Just a little observation, a lot of patience, and maybe a few motivational snacks along the way.
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